Sleep Solutions

Tips and Tricks that work for me when in deep grief, anxious or suffering from mid-life sleep interruptions.

As the daylight hours lessen at this time of year I feel myself wanting to hibernate. I am sunlight dependant when it comes to my energy level, and if it is dark at 5pm then my entire being wants to be in pyjamas, reading, cozy in bed. Just last week when the time changed, my partner walked into the bedroom and asked why I was in bed already. “It’s dark out?” I replied. “BUT IT’S NOT EVEN SIX-THIRTY YET!” he exclaimed. Admittedly, I thought it was closer to eight-thirty. I had looked at the clock on the stove seeing it was after seven, thought I calculated the time change correctly and convinced myself it was an hour later - 8pm ish being a perfectly acceptable time to go to bed in my world. In this moment as Bryan is staring at me confused, I realized that it was an hour earlier than what the stove said. Yes, I had climbed into bed shortly after 6pm thinking it was 8pm. “Well, I’m here now” I said. I did not get back up!

I’ve always been a good sleeper. I had a friend who labelled me as being the “Queen Of Naps” If I know I’ll be out late on the weekend, I plan for an afternoon siesta to rest beforehand. I get up most weekday mornings at 5:30am so on the weekends I naturally wake up early. Naps are sometimes necessary for me to align my energy with the schedules of my friends and family if I want to have a social life.

I have found however when in periods of deep grief, dealing with the chaos of life and also since perimenopause has crept in, I wake up in the middle of the night and often cannot get back to sleep right away. Those 3am wake ups impact the rest of the day and sometimes have a domino effect on the entire week so I began to do some experimenting on how to prevent this deprivation from happening.

I have had to become mindful about quality sleep and be intentional in getting it.

I’m no sleep expert, but for almost 50 years I’ve been pretty damn good at it! Here are some tips and tricks I have tried since struggling with slumber in mid-life that are working for me:

• Dimming the bedroom lights while getting ready for bed. If possible turn on a table lamp instead of an overhead light to create a more calming environment.

• Making a conscious effort not to scroll on electronic devices in bed. Powering down devices before you get into bed can help support better quality of sleep. Consider picking up a magazine or book to read instead to resist temptation.

• Having a warm bath or shower with a soothing scent before bed to relax.

• Having a personal hygiene routine in place for washing your face, brushing your hair and teeth and moisturizing your skin can help signal your mind to begin shutting down the noise of the day.

• Trying a meditation exercise before bed. Sleep apps with timers to play soothing music can aid in drift off.

• Essential oils such as lavender can support a restful sleep. These can be diffused into the air but also some manufacturers offer products where you can roll the oil directly on your skin. I was gifted lavender in the form of pillow spray that works well too!

• Avoiding caffeine, alcohol and large meals before bed. Try a sleep inducing tea instead such a camomile.

• Consider using a sleep mask to block the light. Weighted sleep masks can take some time to get used to but can be beneficial. I love my Nod Pod!

• Using white noise will help to filter out the background noise of others in the home. (machines or apps)

• Regulate the temperature in the room you sleep in. Do you need it a little cooler or warmer than it is? Adjust accordingly.

• Talking to your doctor about what supplements might be right for you. Some people find melatonin or magnesium to be effective.

If you’re able, try to go to bed a little earlier than usual each night (maybe not as nerd early as 6pm, but earlier than your usual!) or set your alarm for a little later the next morning until you find the right sleep window for you. If you are feeling anxious or worried about the day ahead you may be restless in the night. Plan for extra time in bed to allow your body to have the time it needs to rest. When alterations in our circadian rhythm happen, we have the ability to adjust.

We can rest easier when we feel prepared. Before turning in, thinking ahead to the next day and setting out anything that might make the morning run smoother could aid in helping us sleep better the night before. Knowing that we can ease into our morning having what we need to be ready to go can lift the worry overnight about a chaotic morning.

Wishing you all a peaceful and restful sleeping routine.

Sweet dreams!

Photo by Benjamin Voros on Unsplash